Getting older has its benefits. In most cases, you can’t help but become at least a little wiser. The ups and downs level off a bit, helping you stay somewhat more even-keeled. With any luck, you’ve gravitated towards a profession that’s a good fit and your pay reaches new highs.
Then, there’s the crummy part. We’re not all Tom Brady, still slinging deflated footballs at 52 (or however old he is). Physically, we take longer to recover and heal from injuries. We put on weight easier. Our eyes start to mess with us and reading glasses wind up on the Walgreen’s list. And if you’re a dude, sometimes you lose your hair.
Dang.
This post is all about how your lovely author almost, for a New York minute, thought about pursuing a hair transplant. Although this write up will try to convince you that you don’t need a hair transplant, consider the inspiring story of mega-money man himself, Elon Musk.
Look at that mane! The guy is an icon for innovation and quite simply making sh*t happen. Not that he needed a full head of hair to make PayPal a success, but his image is front and center these days with SpaceX, Tesla, and pot smoking on podcasts.
Gotta look your best for the paparazzi… I wanna be Elon Musk! Or at least steal his hair!!
The Cost of a Hair Transplant
Get your holy-crap goggles strapped-on, people. A hair transplant can cost anywhere from $5K to $20K. Of course, it all depends on how many grafts you need (or choose) to slide from the back of your head to the top.
Most men fall in the $10K zone, but if you’re a chrome dome, expect to double that. Forget about shock loss from a transplant. How about shock loss from cash vanishing from your wallet??
Yours truly (not a chrome dome, but making good progress in that direction) visited a hair replacement clinic here in town for a free consult. Nice people there. The suite was clean and tidy. The waiting room table had a dozen or so gracefully feather-stacked magazines with male models and celebrities on the covers, all (of course) with full heads of hair.
Overall, I found the one and a half hour experience a bit unnerving. The consult guy had had a transplant himself, and it looked pretty good. But admittedly, his revitalized head of hair seemed a bit “off”. Dude could’ve been a distant cousin of Lyle Lovett. But Lyle’s famous pompadour is real. I think??
Anyhow, I should’ve got up and run away right then and there.
But I stuck around. As “Lyle” droned on about the glories of the clinic and their work, I noticed his eyes would often shift to scan my thinning hairline. Oh boy. I might as well have had a patient gown on, with feet dangling off the edge of a pneumatic lift table and a left nut unknowingly exposed.
After getting the download on what’s involved with the procedure, I felt pretty good with the idea. But I was curious how quickly I’d heal up to rejoin the workaday world. I’d have to go maybe two weeks with wearing a hat, or working from home, to avoid showing off the red patches where the transplanted grafts were placed. No big deal.
Towards the end of the chat, Lyle took a series of photos of my head and later showed me on the computer screen where I’d benefit from 2,500 grafts of redistributed follicles. Science! Now I was really feeling good about this crazy hair recovery idea…
Still, $10K is a lot of money. And that figure wasn’t the first one thrown out at me. This particular clinic it seems, likes to quote a higher number up front, only to lop off 25% before you walk out the door. They do this knowing full well its clientele are 99% males with a penchant for negotiation.
Oh, and it’s worth noting: the majority of hair transplant clients make average, middle class pay. You know, the kind of gents who should be putting their hard earned dollars towards their kids’ tuition and mortgage pay-downs?
In my case, I didn’t even have a chance to question the original quote. Lyle just assumed I was a cheap-ass, and with nary a complaint on my part, he came down to $10K. What a sweetheart.
Why You Might Consider a Hair Transplant
The male psyche is a fragile thing. Take it from me. For some gents, it’s a brutal hair loss world. I had friends in college who started losing massive amounts of hair before graduation. To be starting out your career behind the 8-ball as a cue-ball? That’s rough stuff…
I made it through my 20s and 30s with a decent crop of fuzz. Now in my mid-40s, the gig seems to be up. Can’t hide it with products or cute haircuts. So, when a guy like me starts to run out of options for making a thinning head of hair look good, you might understand why I even considered a hair transplant in the first place…
Besides, there’s some compelling stories out there about fellas who boldly go under the knife and come away very satisfied. Take a look at this Elon Musk transformation. Your monkey brain instantly clicks into “What if I did that too? I could pull off an Elon!”
And let’s face it, a full head of hair is what we expect to see in our movie stars, anchormen, erectile dysfunction Rx TV spot actors, and of course, our hair transplant consultants. Give in to the Dark Side.
For $10K (and perhaps another $10K later, after the rest of your hair falls out) you can have a permanent head of hair that’s YOUR hair. And, you can check off one box on the “list of things to not have to worry about anymore” list.
Hair Transplants Simply Aren’t Worth the Cost
Ahh, where to begin…? First of all, there’s that $10,000 hair transplant opportunity cost factor. Suffice it to say, that’s $10,000 you could put to much better use.
For instance, say you’re a 30 year old fighting that wicked inner-vanity. You plop $10,000 down for a few follicles vs. investing those 10 g’s in the S&P500, where those dollars would grow to $314,094 after 40 years. By then you’ll want those dollars to support your new viagra habit!
You could certainly invest all $10,000, but if you’re worried about your appearance, invest $9,000 and splurge the rest on some at-home gym equipment, quality wardrobe pieces, or a tattoo removal procedure.
Besides the money factor, there’s the “pill factor”. All transplant shops love to push Propecia prescriptions on unsuspecting clients. After my consult, I was even given a script to fill at our local pill dispensary. Why not start popping those pills right away? Well, that little piece of paper went straight to the garbage…
Apparently, Propecia works to keep the hair you’ve already got. But apparently, it works so well that its side effects are often brushed aside:
- impotence
- loss of interest in sex (and trouble enjoying it when you do)
- swelling in your hands or feet
- swelling or tenderness in your breasts
- dizziness
- weakness
- feeling like you might pass out
- headache
- runny nose
- skin rash
Then, there’s the rarely reported or rarely observed side effects. Still very real. If experienced, these tend to have a Severe expression:
- Breast Cancer In A Male Patient
- Giant Hives
- Having Thoughts Of Suicide
- Hives
- Itching
- Rhabdomyolysis
- Seizures
If experienced, these tend to have a Less Severe expression
- Depression
- Low Sperm Count
- Muscle Pain
- Muscle Problems
- Muscle Weakness
- Testicular Pain
Whoa, Nelly! EFF THIS. Wonder if our Commander in-Chief should reconsider his Rx for Propecia?? Yikes…
And then, you can get to know the heroes of the universe. The Mr. Cleans of the galaxy, who have emerged over the years to show us pathetically vain men a better path to accepting hair loss and owning it, LIKE A MAN. Hair transplant? Get real.
I’m not talking about Telly Savalas. That’s some old-school sh*te right there. (Love Telly though. Player’s Club card!)
I’m not even talking about Jean Luc Picard. Though Patrick Stewart rocks a bald head like no other captain of the Starship Enterprise that I’m aware of.
This guy: Jason Statham. The man. Handsome Rob, no less. The one single guy on the planet you know straight away you do not want to [email protected] with. I credit part of that to the bald head. It gives his look the gravitas that’s practically a billboard, screaming, “Hair is for [email protected]!”
So yeah, this guy is the new inspiration for Cubert. Will I ever have the acting chops, the Kung Fu skills, or the look that says “Cross me and I’ll twist you in half, mate!”?? Nah, but I’m good with that, at least until the real Matrix comes along…. Then watch out for Super Kung Fu Frugal Cubert!
What I do want, is to borrow from one of my favorite action stars: his lack-of-hair haircut. Statham started losing his hair in his 20s. Poor chap.
But as soon as his movie-making career shot into high gear at age 32, with Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, the buzz-cut became (and remained) his trademark look.
Heck, even Prince William has gone the way of the buzz-cut, and thank heavens. That comb-over wasn’t doing him any favors.
The Benefits of a Balding Buzz-cut Head
Only one week into my latest experiment, I can rattle off a bunch of bonuses. Some obvious, some not so much:
- You can cut your own dang hair. Quick and easy like. Set the number 1 clip on those shears and go to work!
- No more $ spent on hair product. That goop is expensive! I think I was paying $20 for a little puck of Jonathan Dirt. Not anymore. And bonus, I don’t really need shampoo anymore, not for 1/8 of an inch of hair.
- No more said product winding up on your pillowcase. Nothing beats a fresh pillowcase every week, right? But having to swap out in the middle of the week because Jonathan Dirt wanted to cling to that case… No thanks…
- You can wear a hat in all situations, and not worry about mussing up what longish, spiked or combed-over hair you used to have. This is vital in Minnesota winters.
- Your wife gets a break from cutting your hair. Because see benefit #1 at top. These two plus benefit #2 probably saves you $300 – $400 a year.
- You can get ready for work a helluva lot quicker in the morning. No more primping at the mirror. You’re ready to go!
- You can feel confident that you’ve made the best decision for your thinning hair. Owning that natural balding allows you to focus on other improvements, like fitness, relationships, and of course, your finances.
Fast Forward and Furious
All that said, Hollywood is not afraid to put its best bald head into the arena. The Fast and Furious is a great example, with three of its principal actors, Statham, Vin Diesel, and the ROCK all keeping it clean up top. I’d expect half the hard-driving fans of the series to shear off their hair, just to copy these dudes. Those locks just adds wind resistance anyhow…
It’s a toss up for many. Do I give in to the autumn of my scalp, or do I try to fight it with science and gobs of money?
All it took was a question to my lovely wife about getting a hair transplant.
“Do you think I should go for it?”
“Hmm… No. I think aging gracefully is the way to go.”
And that, was that. The buzz-cut took place exactly two days after that very brief conversation about the future of my hairline. And honestly, I’m pretty happy with where my journey is going. The Buzz-cut Brigade has a new member. And it’s me.
Now, every two weeks I get my hair buzzed down to 1/16 of an inch. That’s the 0.5 clipper guard, if you’re using a Wahl hair trimmer.
Which, by the way, I highly recommend the cordless Wahl professional trimmers — the battery lasts FOREVER. And without a cord, Mrs. Cubert sorta enjoys this bi-weekly chore.
(Featured Photo by Amy Elting on Unsplash)
Great post, Cubert! My hair has been thinning for a while now. I’ve been trying to hide it by using the LeBron spray paint for the past year. It’s definitely time to let go and embrace the bald look!
Thanks Peerless! Let us know how the bald look works out for you. I’m still loving it, but the weekly maintenance is something to get a little used to…
Men who embrace their baldness are definitely viewed as more confident than men who try to cover it up. Women love confidence! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was voted sexiest man alive in 2016.
Thank you, Debt Shrink! The Rock hasn’t slowed down a bit, has he? If he had a full head of hair, it wouldn’t seem right to me. Bald is better!
When I reached the point Elon joined the story I already wanted to come up with Jason Statham and the buzz-cut badassity. I have read somewhere a funny post about muscle setups on man. At one side the showoffs and pumped-up gym rats who only want to look good on the beach and the other side the guys like JS with functional muscles. The comment was something like “this is the type who is fighting bears in the mountains” 🙂
Hair implant? For what? As a hardware guy, you should know that the bigger the number of moving parts in a system the bigger the possibility for failure also. I would not spend 10k on hair implants even if they would put Elon’s hair on my head (still it would be kind of cool and weird the same time). I am also losing my hair slowly but the only regret is the lowering chance of rocking a mohawk once more. One fellow Hungarian bald guy said once that the biggest benefit of being bald is that you can wash your head like your hand 😀
You most definitely will NOT find me fighting bears in the mountains. Not unless Mr. 1500 somehow tractor-beams our family out to Longmont. (Which wouldn’t be bad!)
I am digging the low maintenance aspects of this change. Still using shampoo though, cuz there’s still some left in the bottle. 🙂
Dude… I wouldn’t go back at this point. Way to easy to get ready in the morning or after a workout. I do collect some hats these days, so maybe some of the savings is being eaten up by my new wardrobe. But yeah.. I’m not missing the ‘do’.
Right on! It’s almost *too* easy getting ready and such. And hats only get in the way of fast ventilation of body heat (so much of it escapes through the noggin!)
So many errors in this article.
.here goes:
1
Elon Musk didn’t have a transplant, he is wearing an advanced wig ( called a “weave”)
2
Bruce Willis had a transplant and it looked horrible.
3.
Prooecia is the “weak” dht blocker. The better one is Dutasteride.
4.
10K$ for a mediocre transplant? Hardly. Go to Istanbul, the transplant center of the World and pay a fraction for 3500-4000 grafts by better and more experienced doctors.
Was anything in the article right?
Probably not, but thanks for your hyper-accurate contributions, Lars!
I’m going to add a few brief points here. I weighed the pros and cons of a hair transplant and decided to do it. I’m not an advocate of spouting about the benefits without telling you the risks. I actually went to turkey and it was a long and exhausting trip from the USA. You risk a botched surgery in both the USA and abroad if you don’t do your research. There are several cosmetic surgery review sites on the internet you don’t have to look hard for. I posted my review monthly for the last 7 months. The people closest to me are either lying or afraid to tell me the truth when they say my hair looks much better. The buttom line is you can’t pigeon hole any person into saying they should or shouldn’t get a transplant. My argument is you will never know what it will do to your esteem and appearance until you have the procedure. That being said, I faced a long recovery and my new hair didn’t start growing for 4 full months! You have to accept that this surgery is probably least instantly gratifying of all cosmetic procedures. It literally takes months for your head to heal and hurts like a b when you are getting the numbing injections. The procedure isn’t short either- it was around 8.5 hours for me. I must say I’m thrilled with the results at the seven month mark. If your wife doesn’t care that’s great. I have an honest enough relationship with my wife for her to let me know it made a tremendous difference in my appearance- especially age. So my advice to anyone is if you are happy with the shaved look go for it! If you aren’t I would fully recommend doing something about your balding. These procedures have come a long way and my hair looks completely natural. PS- my cost was 3500 with flight from Ohio. I had 4600 grafts.
Hi Michael!
Thanks for sharing your experience. In fairness, you’re absolutely right. This procedure has come a LONG way in the last 10-20 years. The results can be spectacular. Just look at Elon Musk! And what a bonus – you saved a LOT of money by finding a solution outside the U.S. If you do your homework, you can get the results you sought, at less than HALF the cost.
My main thrust in the post wasn’t to shame anyone who has had the procedure. Instead, it was to give MYSELF a little kick in the arse to try the buzz cut and see where that takes me. I’ve found it liberating and a source of added confidence. Maybe as much confidence had I had the transplant? Maybe one day I’ll find out. But for now, I’m putting more energy into fitness so I can rock the balding look like Handsome Rob does. 🙂
Best!
A few points I actually left out. Your comments are dead on about propecia. Or the generic termed “finasteride”. I will go on record for anyone that wants to listen – this stuff is dangerous. Ignore the warning labels and the previous people who used this drug at your own peril! I took it for all of 4 days before I noticed absolutely devastating side effects. I immediately stopped the drug and threw away my 3 month supply. As far as cutting your hair, I agree it’s a great way to save money. I was rocking the ultra short look for years and when I got so thin started using fibers (SMH). The good news is I still cut my own hair but use a much longer 1.25 inch guard. Best Regards and I enjoyed reading your article!
Thanks for sharing, Michael! Rx so often comes with so-called “rare” side effects. The question is to what degree users suffer these effects?? I’ve come across way too many examples in my research of men using the drug who had to stop for a variety of issues.
Welcome to the club, Cubert, welcome! The club of people who have accepted one’s bald dome 😀
Thanks man! The Hairless Club for Men. I can dig that!! 🙂
Careful about the all encompassing “hairless” ….just the dome for me!
LOL. Fair enough! 🙂
I was one of those guys who was starting to thin by the end of college and was almost completely bald by my mid-20s. The best thing I ever did was to embrace it. Once I stopped trying to hide it or pretend it wasn’t happening, I felt much more confident about it. Sure, I wish I had a full head of hair, but it’s really not anything I think about too often. Just make sure you wear a hat when you’re going to be outside for long periods. Trust me, sunburn on the scalp is the worst!
Funny. That was my first introduction to thinning hair- SUNBURN. I’ll never forget hanging out at the pool one day, and having the worst burn on my temples. I didn’t realize there wasn’t hair there anymore! And now with the buzz cut, you can bet I’ll be wearing a cap.
my hair thinned around college but kinda stayed the same until a few years ago. when it goes away for good i’ll be fine with it. locks stock was one great movie. he was in snatch, too, guy ritchie’s follow up if you haven’t seen it. hair is overrated. i went and got a velvet jacket instead of caring about hair. be funny and interesting with decent shoes and all will be fine.
Thanks, Freddy – You are among the wisest! (and not just wise cracks either!) You’re absolutely right. Be interesting, and don’t try the comb over. Decent shoes – totally.
(and btw, saw “Snatch” and it is a great flick. As is “The Bank Job” and “Transporter 2”.)
Bald is beautiful. Been a chrome dome for over 40 years. Lost it all in a few months. Was concerned until I realized I looked like my maternal grandfathers. Damn those genes, anyway.
To compensate, grew a beard, resulting in a low (no) maintenance head. It’s an engineering solution — a quick swipe with the washrag and I’m ready to go. OK, I occasionally trim the beard.
I agree with your wife. Aging gracefully is the way to go. Screw the vanity, and save/invest the $$$.
Or, nearly-bald is beautiful in my case (I hope!) 🙂 The chrome dome works on you, Daryl. It’s a small comfort sometimes to know your genetic future, when all that’s at stake is hair loss. Still, dang those genes!!!
Hopefully you’re enjoying some warmth while us up-norderners suffer through another colder-than-normal month of “autumn”.
“and a left nut unknowingly exposed”, man that was funny stuff!! I spit my water out when I got to that line.
I am fortunate in that at the ripe old age of 46 I still have a full head of hair, although rapidly graying due to our 3 young children. I have been cutting it myself for the last 2 years and keep going back and forth between a buzz and longer hair. Summer its’s pretty much buzz and Michigan winters I tend to wear it longer. I do love the low maintenance of a good buzz cut though.
Hey man, if you’ve got it, you can flaunt it! I will miss the extra cold protection a longer cut gives you, but the trade off is being able to wear a winter hat without fudging up your spikes.
Keep an eye on those nuts, my friend. They’re squirrely some times… 😉
Welcome to the buzz club! I buzzed my hair for over 10 years now and it’s great. I must have saved over $1,000 by now. Unless your hair is a big part of your career, I don’t think a transplant is worth it. That’s a lot of trouble to go through. It’s fine for Elan because he’s a public figure. Own it! 😀
Thanks man!! I had you in the back of my mind (along with Fritz, Jeremy, Keith, Steve and others).. Loving the DIY haircuts and no product necessary.
My buzz cut might look like a shaved monkey’s butt, but I’m owning it all the way!!! 🙂
Heck yes, no spending $10k on hair!! Women get bombarded from a too-young age about how much money needs to be spent to stay pretty, but it appears men are targeted for some big ones I was completely unaware of. I stopped dyeing my hair in my early 20s and now my goal is to continue NOT to dye it and let the grays come as they may. Aging gracefully is one of my big long term goals for sure. I think there’s a badge of honor there in actually showing your years. That, and maybe someday I’ll stop getting carded 😉
It was a silly notion on my part, honestly. I was surprised I went as far as I did, but glad the Mrs. pulled me quickly back to reality. Besides, some big unexpected expenses popped up after the consult, so that $10K wouldn’t have found a home anywhere near THIS budget. Graceful aging, here we come!
As my wife said. Steve Jobs didn’t have hair and look how it turned out for him.
Crew cut since 8 years old here (due to a certain sport). Thinning in the middle but don’t really care.
He’s a great example. Jobs just wouldn’t have looked right, or had the same gravitas if he had hung onto that full head of hair from his 20s. I’m guessing your sport was swimming?
She’d drop you like a hot Rock for Steve. Unless your in the billion dollar club hair doesn’t matter . I’m 63 and have great hair. I love it when a baldee passes by me in a Porsche…I just put my hands through my hair and smile!
You’ll have to elaborate on the connection between money and hair. On the one hand we have Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos – wealthy and bald or balding. On the other we have Elon Musk and Donald Trump. Neither needed the hair if money was all that mattered. But at least Musk did his hair redux right. Finally, with most hair transplants being done by men with average financial means, should we be led to believe that having hair is the only way to somehow *make* more money?
I came across a few photo shopped Jason Statham pics, with full head of hair overlaid. Looks silly.
Do you drive a Honda Fit by chance? It’d make me feel better about my “wheels situation” too… 😉