Today’s post is a guest post from The Financial Journeyman about growing up in a frugal household. FJ’s background resonates with me. Worked in a factory? Yep. I remember those days. Not too fondly either. Like me, FJ stumbled upon a few books early in his journey that set him on an entirely new course. Funny how that works. The whole “reading thing.” For what it’s worth, I also appreciate that FJ promotes starting a blog with an outfit other than Bluehost. wink
As a member of Generation X, I grew up in the 80s. While there were many problems in that decade, like inflation, Black Monday, and the Cold War, personal finance was much simpler then.
There were fewer choices and people just plain tended to save more of their money. Maybe that’s what our child’s eyes saw then, but there sure as heck weren’t fancy cell phones and HGTV to spin our fancy.
My family didn’t use phrases like “financial independence”, “live below your means”, or “be frugal.” Those virtues were just part of our day-to-day lives.
As far back as I can remember, personal finance has always been part of my life. It wasn’t taboo to talk about money. I grew up in a household where money was discussed openly. Talk of the household budget (or what was affordable) was common conversation.
Our Frugal Household: We sure as heck weren’t rich
My dad was an Accountant. He worked for the Department of Defense. Other than working a few part-time jobs over the years, my mom was primarily keeper of the house. Lucky for me, my grandmother also lived with us. And get this, she owned her own small business.
We certainly weren’t poor. We lived in a small ranch style house. There were two Chevy Caprices parked in the driveway. There was never fighting or arguing about money among the grown-ups. I’ll tell you, growing up in a household where your parents were on the same page about their hard-earned dollars was a blessing!
I was an only child, but oddly, never spoiled (dammit!) I was loved, cared for, and maybe even overly protected. To my occasional chagrin, I wasn’t lavished with lots of toys. Yeah, I got the shaft. No hard feelings, Mom…
I coveted what my friends had, with serious envy. One time around age 9 I complained to my folks that my stuff didn’t add up the stuff my friend Robert had. Grandma told to move out I wasn’t happy. Holy sh*t, Grandma!!! She even proposed that I might be happier if I moved in with Robert’s parents. That pretty much cured me from Robert envy. No hard feelings, Grandma…
Work takes your mind off of Super Mario
My dad had his own approach to handle my little requests. I wanted an ATV, a pool, and every new Nintendo game that was released. Guess where this is heading…
When I would ask my dad for these things, he would remind me that I had chores to do. Nice redirection, Pops… My main summer chore was to rake up rotten apples. After I raked up the apples, I had to mow the lawn. It smelled like a modern-day spa smoothie.
My dad’s theory was that the yard work would take my mind off of my wants. When I was finished, I would be tired, and would forget about what I was asking for. It worked most of the time.
When I look back on my childhood, I don’t feel resentment. We’ll sometimes reminisce about life in the 80s. I give my parents flack about how cheap they were, and we laugh about it now. At this stage of my life, it’s easy to understand where they were coming from.
It’s not as if I had no toys or anything nice. In fact, my dad took me to the occasional ball game, fishing trips to Canada, amusement parks, and even took the family to California on vacation. We weren’t destitute. We were just, well, 80s….
How I grew up and the influence of my parents and grandmother had a big impact on me. That influence shaped how I manage my finances today. Goes to show that success with money in your later years can be traced back to your childhood.
My role models
I mentioned that Grandma ran a small business. She owned an Alteration Shop. Not a lot of money in that gig. Despite that, she was a saver.
Back in the day, she would always buy savings bonds as well as certificates of deposits (CDs.) She is 94 now and still talks about earning 14% on CDs. When I was a wee tot, she explained how compound interest worked. She explained to me the power of money when it’s not spent foolishly.
I didn’t see much of my dad until I was age 6. He served in the Army during the Vietnam War. Before then he worked in a warehouse.
Wanting to provide more for his family, he started attending college in the evening on the G.I. Bill. He earned his degree in Accounting in 5 years while working at the warehouse day job.
He’ll reflect on that time in his life and wonder how he did it. Maybe he didn’t feel he had a choice. He simply wanted to be a good provider for his family.
That alone taught me about sacrifice and trade offs to meet goals. Earning a degree allowed Dad to earn at least a million dollars more over the course of his career. He was able to retire at age 57.
The Wonder Years
In the early 80s, consumer debt was not as big of a problem. Probably because it was harder to get credit back then? Interest rates were much higher. So it’s no surprise my dad taught me to avoid debt.
Debt (so he said) actually made him sick. He’d even have little panic attacks when he owed a large balance on a loan. He paid off his 30-year mortgage in 13 years. Now that’s motivation…
My mom had a few part-time jobs here and there. She was also a minimalist. Clutter and crap did not last long around our house. We could’ve filmed studio sitcoms the house was so neat and orderly. What she taught me? Less is more.
Having such strong and close role models, it’s not a mystery that personal finance became a passion of mine. Scarcity gives you few options, and I appreciate that my folks focused on how to manage the little we had.
When I started working, saving money was a reflex. I did not want to waste it. I wanted my money to grow with the power of compounding interest. After a some personal figuring out stuff-age, I decided to go to college in my early 20’s. How would I pay for that???
Taking out loans totally freaked me out. I remember adding up the total cost of a bachelor’s degree and the feeling of utter doom (panic attacks?!?) The fear of owing $20,000 or more in student loans was overpowering.
I almost skipped college. Instead, I buckled down and worked when I wasn’t in class.
Who I am today
I am a minimalist. I am not a minimalist because I read about it on AbandonedCubicle.com and it sounded like a cool way to live (but almost.)
Material possessions take up too much energy. I guess I was just conditioned living in a frugal household (thanks, Mom!) to buy quality, lasting things if I needed them. I had learned throughout my childhood, slowly by surely, to control my wants.
It’s interesting to say the least how much your upbringing can shape your view of the world. We can’t pick our parents, but I feel I won the lottery with mine.
We grow up thinking our parents aren’t fair and they’re stingy. Later on, especially after we’ve left the safety and comfort of home, we recognize quickly how they taught us to succeed in life. With nothing more than setting a good example.
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Great post! I’m guessing we’re very close in age, I grew up in the same time period. My Dad also worked for the government but as a blue-collar guy. He fixed printing presses. And unfortunately my parents did have some arguments about money since like you we weren’t poor, but we were definitely solid “lower middle class”.
It also taught me frugality, so in the end it’s all good.
But wasn’t the 80’s a weird time!? Rubber bracelets, OP corduroy shorts, and making mix-tapes on my Emerson boom box. Much simpler times 🙂
Ocean Pacific! Whoot! The first brand I cared about growing up. Before Jordache.
The 80’s were great. I miss making mix tapes. Looking back, most of my town was solid lower middle class. I did not have everything, but never went hungry.
That is one cool grandma! Great role model too, seems you got a pretty good financial education when you were a kid (amongst others).
Yes, she was the best. She was not always easy to please. I definitely picked up many of her values.
Nice post FJ. Your background, age, upbringing and thoughts are very similar to mine. Tom
Thanks Tom. I was born in 1976 and am 41. We grew up during an interesting time.
Nice seeing you over here, Dave. Sounds like you indeed hit the lottery with your parents and Grandma. Love that she taught you some things about money when you were young. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Amy,
Yes, I sure did.
I am also blessed to still have them.
Wow! This post took me back.
One day a week my father would work late. My brothers and I never knew why, but we were super excited because this was the night we got to have BREAKFAST FOR DINNER!!!
Later on, it was made clear that those late nights were extra shifts and the breakfast for dinner was stretching dollars since flour and eggs were less expensive options for dinner.
To this day, my upbringing a defined my financial decisions and current state. And I also still very much enjoy pancakes for dinner every so often.
@ FinancialJourney Man – thank you for sharing your story. It not only brought me back to what a valuable upbringing I had, it reinforced my own financial decisions.
@ Cubert – thank you for having such a wonderful guest
My pleasure! Dave and I have a lot in common based on my 80s experience. Nice to see how our financial mindsets were similarly shaped by similar attitudes and influences.
Thanks Church, it was fun to reflect back and to share about how my family shaped my view on money.
Most kids never look up to their parents as role model or good example. More like a protector and someone they can always rely on until they start raising their own families. I can feel that you will set a great example for your kids one day (not sure if you have kids yet). Just don’t try too hard and simply be a responsible parent for them.
I agree, Bernz. Dave has a good head on his shoulders.
Great story. I love to hear how people’s character is molded from their upbringings. As much as I hated mowing lawns back then, the weird thing is I don’t mind it a bit now. Snowblowing on the other hand……
That snowblower sure beats a shovel, after the dumping we got on Monday!!! 🙂
I’d rather shovel snow than mow a lawn…. But I prefer the smell of fresh cut grass to snow. hrmmph. Contradictions abound.
I remember the 80s fondly but sadly my family was lower middle class and not frugal. Ie I learned what not to do rather then what to do. Still it was a simpler time.
I like how he said these weren’t just terms, they were a common part of life!
Great story, Dave! I can definitely appreciate the 80s as a unique decade to grow up in. I got a taste of the funky 70s so I think I can make a frame of reference here. These were definitely lean times. Cold War still in effect, not a lot of electronic gadgets and services to blow money on, rarely dining out, and still LOVING LIFE.
Your parents sound a lot like mine – no non-sense, and pretty cautious with money.
As for game consoles, gotta give a shout out to Intellivision. Wasted too many hours on that before my Commodore 64 came on the scene…
Great role models, indeed, Dave. Give your grandmother a hug from me! I love this story about old fashioned values, parents keeping a united front — and grandma telling you to move out. That’s even better than the old “if you don’t like it, you can lump it.”.
Thank you Mrs. Groovy, I will. She still has spunk in at 94.
PS – That sweet Chevy Citation depicted as the featured image was my baby from senior year of high school. My sister totaled it just a year later. 🙁
I liked the photo of the Citation. My Aunt had one. They were good little cars.
I know! Mine was a V6! I loved the stick shift too. My dad found me a used automatic to replace the one my sister trashed, but that thing was not nearly as well maintained as the red rocket. I’ve come a long way since, now jetting around in my spiffy ’09 red Honda Fit!
Lovely post. Can relate to it pretty much, however, I was born in the early 80’s (thus am a gen xy, which is in my genes) and spent my teenage years in the 90’s. Same time my homeland is far from the US which means that everything needs roughly 10 years to arrive there, so theoretically we grew up in the same circumstances. Cannot agree more that when you are not wealthy you have to be smart with money and learning this early on can protect you from a lot of problems which people facing nowadays. Oh, and your Grandma’s comments made my day 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your kind words.
I was a teenager during the early 90’s, so I can relate to you as well.
Learning basic money management skills at a young age helped me to avoid many pitfalls as an adult.
My parents were not always the best example (money wise) but I had a great-aunt who lived through both wars and taught me a lot about not wasting and saving diligently.
This is a great post! I love seeing the different paths of financial literacy people come from. I was just thinking about how there’s so much discussion on frugal, minimalism etc these days and how that was just everyday habits and how people managed their money a few generations back.
Would be interesting to see a post on decade by decade generalized financial habit.
Glad you were one of the lucky ones that were taught good money habits growing up!
I also grew up in a middle class frugal house, which has ingrained many frugal habits into me.
Hey FJ,
It sounds like you were raised well! When I was growing up, I had two or three friends whose parents were *rich*. Sometimes, it didn’t end well. Something I observed was that, when some people are raised in luxury and given everything they ask for, it can lead to a “standard setting” in the sense that the kids feel as though they’ll be failures if they don’t become wealthy adults (and show it), no matter what their true passion is in life.
I’ve seen at least one family go through cycles of bankruptcy and debt, and I think it’s partly because of this dynamic. When business is good, they buy and buy and buy. When business is bad, it all comes crashing down,
Thanks Miguel,
Thanks for your kind words.
It is funny you mentioned that.
I just had a discussion about a friend from school who was given everything from his parents.
He hard zero ambition to go out and make it on his own.
He is in his 40,s and cannot hold down a job.
Thanks for sharing your inspiring childhood story.
And thanks for stressing how important education is. A lot of people tend to forget that.
Btw, your grandma is kickass,…say hi to her on my behalf 🙂
Thank you.
I will do that.
I still see her at least once per week.
I’m salivating at the 14% CD… Although I gotta remember interest rates were high on the other side of the coin, as well.
I’m more a kid of the 90’s, although I’m reluctant to call myself a millennial. My parents were anything but frugal, and they suffered for it (and still do). That’s probably partly why I am frugal myself these days.
I LOVE your grandma! Haha! “If you don’t like it, then leave” Way to utilize tough love. Bet ya it made you think about all the non-toy stuff that came with Robert’s life, hey?
Anyway, great points! I’m definitely a believer that having a strong support system when you are young is a great boost in adult life. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without my mom and uncle’s financial guidance.