Bad bosses are a part of life. It’s almost a prerequisite for existence in today’s society, where holding a job is pretty much required, and for a decent part of one’s life. Countless bosses who bully are lurking among us. The main thing is to recognize when it’s okay to put up with a little assholery in your daily cubicle life or get the heck out of dodge.
Asshole Boss Exhibit A: Amy Klobuchar
Heartbroken. That’s the best way I can describe it. I’m a big fan of Amy Klobuchar. At least, I was. Until I heard about how godawful she treats people (specifically, her staff). Over the years I had just assumed she was a no-nonsense, hardworking leader with an ounce of compassion and sure, high expectations. It hadn’t occurred to me that she’d be such an asshole boss.
The turnover for her staff is among the highest of anyone in the senate. And if there’s ever an asshole test for bosses, it’s turnover.
Some bosses take the easy way when it comes to getting what they want. The easy way, of course, is to shame people, belittle them, and somehow believe this behavior coaxes excellence out of them.
Think about it. If you’re a parent, what’s your gut instinct when your toddler does something wrong? Your trigger response might be to point a finger and let your temper come out in snap reactions. But if patience prevails, you learn how to raise strong and confident kids, without spanking, shaming, and demeaning them.
Read enough of that New York Times piece linked in paragraph one, and you get the sense that Klobuchar, an extremely hard-working public official, takes the easy road whenever it comes to eliciting strong performance from her team.
That’s a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? And it’s a head-scratcher for those of us who’ve dealt with our fair share of asshole bosses. We wonder, “Geez, you seem so smart at the x’s and o’s of our business, but when it comes to people, you don’t have a CLUE!”
Bully Boss Resilience: Required for Career Survival
Resilience is what allows many of us to churn on and on in the hamster wheel. Sometimes we grow it like a callus. Maybe we grew up with tough, exacting parents? Some of us were maybe just born with a stronger shield? True, many of Klobuchar’s staffers have survived the unnecessary brute force management tactics to become loyal, long-term (in her case, maybe 3 months’ tenure?) contributors.
And it would appear that with the time you acquire a sort-of “Survivor Effect”. (i.e., Stay on the island long enough, and you feel like you’ve won something.) Maybe you’ve gained the respect of an asshole boss, so why not invite her to your wedding? Uff da…
I’ve had my share of difficult managers over the years. Each one taught me something new about how NOT to treat people. In one case, I was the golden child who could do no wrong. I had found my groove and could effectively fly under the radar. However, I got to witness firsthand how my manager treated others on our team. She had no problem belittling staff on conference calls and making their lives utterly miserable.
I had no desire to stick around in that environment, and I did whatever I could to raise awareness among other leaders of the asshole in our midst. So I’d challenge Amy’s long-term staffers (the few who remain) to consider whether they’re contributing to the ongoing problem by adhering to some “Survivor Effect” mentality when they should walk away.
Easier said than done though when Klobuchar bad-mouths staffers to prospective employers. Jesus.
For all the posts I’ve written of late about the joys of sticking around Cubicle Town, I’ll concede this important fact: You’ve got to land with a good leader. You need an adult boss who treats people with respect and compassion. And I mean everyone, from staff to waiters, drivers, customer service reps, oh yeah, and family members too. So yeah, resilience is great, but only when it comes to the work itself. Don’t settle for an asshole boss. Get out as fast as you can.
Winning Teams Have Zero Bullies
Let me be clear. This post is not a judgment on Klobuchar’s ability to tackle the toughest job on the planet. I honestly think her pragmatism and toughness are exactly what we need at this time. But political views aside, let’s ask the question: Can we possibly hope to have a winning team without an asshole at the helm?
There are plenty of examples from pro sports to back up the claim that you’ve got to not only be tough, decisive, and strategic. You’ve got to be an asshole too. (See the Patriots, for exhibit A.) In other walks of life, there have been several assholes to adorn the portrait walls of Corporate America.
So where are the leaders who inspire greatness without being jerks?
Try Googling “Leaders who treat their employees well” and you’ll get a blank stare back from the “Big G” in its search results. They’re out there though. And I’ll give you some anecdotal evidence from my personal career experience. When I had an asshole for a boss, my performance sucked. When I later had inspiring and trust-building leaders, who led by example rather than shame? My performance soared. Easy equation, no?
Amy Klobuchar can learn how to be an effective leader of people. She’s got a pretty rough history of going through staff like kleenex and forgetting the human aspect of an effective work environment. A toxic work environment can be turned around. The best products and the most sustainable innovation emerge from trust-centered safe-zones. Why should a senator’s office or a campaign operation be any different?
I’d recommend bookmarking Bob Sutton’s blog. There’s a TON of good shit on why being an asshole leader is self-defeating. But more importantly, there are tools to help you deal with this situation, and for self-aware bosses to overcome their assholery. By the way, there’s a book by Sutton that I’m pretty confident will provide fodder for a future post on this topic: The No Asshole Rule.
I hope Ms. Klobuchar turns over a new leaf and becomes the leader that reflects the image she’s trying to portray. It is possible to be a tough and decisive leader, and bring an ounce of compassion to the mix.
Other Notorious Asshole Bosses
Let’s consider Steve Jobs for a moment. The late co-founder of Apple Inc. was notorious for his unfiltered and often abusive treatment of his team. High expectations are important for any manager to have of his or her staff, but Jesus, Jobs was over the top.
After his return to Apple for stint #2, a more mellow and grounded Jobs oversaw the single most incredible recovery of a large company in history. That’s in no small part due to his maturation and understanding that he needed to trust others to execute his vision.
Over time, we’ll see if the same holds for Elon Musk. Elon’s crazy, workaholic life has left a few employees in the dust. Not as mercurial as Jobs, Musk nevertheless has the same exacting standards that have taxed his team to the limit.
Then there’s Amazon founder and CEO, Jeff Bezos. He’s made comments about the myth of work-life balance, and there’s been a lot of justifiable scrutiny of the company’s treatment of distribution center workers. We could probably spend an entire post examining this particular asshole, so let’s plan it for a future date, shall we??
Feature Image Photo by Ahmad Gunnaivi on Unsplash
I just got laid off from a company with a horrible boss. Not sure If I would label him as a full-blown asshole but after being in the workforce for over 30 years or so, I would put him at the top 2 or 3 of absolute worst. Does passive-aggressive communication style fit into asshole category? I would say yes, it just made the workplace one big toxic dumping ground after awhile. Big ego, perfectionist, failed to give any mentoring or training but had no problem telling you what you screwed up on. Positive feedback? Non-existent. It’s the first time I got laid off at a job and felt this huge sense of relief. They packaged a few of us at once and shipped us out but I think I was let go because he did not like me. I would stand up for myself, not something you want to ever do with an asshole for sure.
You remember those top 2 or 3 after all those years. This is why Financial Independence is so important. You just never know when a bad boss will be given control of your destiny. Passive aggressiveness is often worse than direct fury. At least with the latter, you know where you stand. Guessing leaves you twisted up in knots.
The best bosses are the ones with humility and self awareness enough to respect someone who puts forth another opinion or view. I hope you land in a good spot soon, Chris.
I’ve been lucky that most of my managers have been really decent human beings. At one point I’ve had one, the same one, for 8 years and loved every day of work! The couple that I’ve had problem with, we didn’t fester long – either the manager or me left the team soon. Your post is timely for me as I’m rolling off a project as the new manager is a complete a$$-hole and just simply cannot stop announcing that he’s the greatest know-it-all the world has seen. He has an opinion on everything and often times without the experience or the context to back him up with. Sad to say that most of these horrible bosses belong to a particular race. I don’t know why, coincidence perhaps.
Hey there, NWA! I’m sorry to hear you’ve landed with a dud manager. Talk about complete lack of humility. No one should have to put up with that. I’m not sure about the race factor – I would argue the asshole factor cuts across race and gender equally. Heck, I’d assumed Amy Klobuchar was “Minnesota Nice”, until I read about her berating people in front of others and throwing sh*t like a five year old.
I hear you, friend. The standards should be the same…but I don’t think they often are. Was there the discussion of this critical flaw in Trump as a boss during the 2016 campaign? Where were the NYT stories talking about what an awful boss he was, and how that would impact his ability to lead effectively?
Trump’s staff turnover rate is at 65%. While both are going to be presidential candidates, I somehow doubt this issue will be mentioned as disqualifying for him.
https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/430282-female-dems-see-double-standard-in-klobuchar-accusations
As far as standards, I’d argue that most of my readers would probably disapprove of this behavior regardless of gender. If you’ve ever worked for an asshole, it doesn’t matter if there’s a skirt or a suit covering the bum.
I would just hope that every time a public figure’s bad behavior is called into question (e.g. Kavanaugh’s beer chugging frat boy fiesta), we don’t have to go down a rabbit hole of gender whataboutism (i.e., do certain assholes get a pass while others don’t?) I didn’t vote for Trump because he was a bad boss. That would probably be the LEAST of his sins, at least where my lens was concerned.
Gender doesn’t excuse this subject’s bad behavior. From my perspective, you could pick from any number of bad examples, including Steve Jobs (notorious for his fits of rage) or maybe even Elon Musk. They’ve been called to task and exposed for this too. No one gets a pass.
This is a tricky one for me. On one hand, I agree that having a toxic workplace is a non-starter no matter what and being a jagoff boss is not at all what I want in a politician.
On the other, it sure seems like some politicians (say, one who is in the White House) got through an entire election cycle without having to face a single question about this issue, despite being by almost all accounts, a terrible f-ing boss.
I’m concerned that we might set up the same double standards in this election as we did in 2016: bringing up rightfully concerning issues to women candidates but not holding men to the same standards.
I’ve been lucky in my own career to avoid jerk bosses, save one. While I was his ‘golden child’ I bristled at the way he’d speak to others in the cubicle row, in front of anyone who happened to be in earshot. When I had the chance to jump ship to my current organization, I took it. 🙂
It shouldn’t be tricky at all. I won’t waste a single page writing about the moron in chief. That’s not news.
There is no double standard here. Zero. In this case, Klobuchar, someone 99% of us believed was level headed and highly competent turned out to be a jerk. Whether you’re a boy or a girl it doesn’t matter. An asshole is an asshole is an asshole. The standards are the same.
Sounds like you had a similar ride as me at one point. Toxic bosses affect everyone on the team, not just the people taking it on the backside! I got out too…
I’m a conservative, but up until a few years ago I had a relatively good opinion of Klobuchar – as I think most people in MN do. Even if you don’t agree with her, she seems like someone that has good intentions, and that you could work with.
Then I talked with a co-worker who used to do IT work for a bunch of people in MN politics, and from what I heard from him, Klobuchar was known to be someone you didn’t want to work for. She’s known for belittling people, going on tirades and being extremely unpleasant in general. I heard stories of things being thrown across the room – although none with the items thrown at people. It changed my view of her quite a bit. Hearing these recent stories inb the Times only added to that. And really – can you trust someone who eats salad with a comb?
But seriously, I think we can all hope to work for bosses that have not only the company’s bottom line in mind, but the welfare of the people around them as well. Nothing’s worse than working for a boss that is a complete jerk, and rules by fear and belittling others.
That’s really sad, Peter. All you can do is shake your head and wonder whether she is self aware enough to know that she’s making people around her miserable. Appreciate the inside information to back up more of the NY Times reporting. Throwing objects and going on tirades are childish behaviors.
You’re spot-on: The main draw for financial independence should be that rip-cord we can pull if we’re ever stuck working for a “Klobuchar”. Life is too damn short to suffer jerks.
i’ve had my fair share of puckered bosses. i chug along but never forget. i’m not talking about asking me to do an unpleasant task, either. i’m talking about the treatment you describe. i can tell you i never forget and they generally haven’t singled me out but behave this way in a pattern. i remember one guy many years ago a friend and i didn’t even report to who was our facility manager. he told a couple of his security guards who were our friends to “keep an eye on those guys…i don’t like the look of them.
he was on a jet-ski later that year and got run over by a boat. i hope the name of the boat was karma. f’ him. good riddance was all we could say.
They are the worst. It makes you wonder if they go home and treat their kids or their spouse as poorly as they treat employees. I have very little patience for demeaning others, having been on the receiving end earlier in my career. It leaves scars, and that’s why I have no reservations about calling out this particular asshole after reading up on all her hijinks.